Stress and Body Pain: Why Does Stress Make My Body Hurt?

Before I went to massage school, when somebody said they were “stressed,” I would just think, “Yup, me too.”

I thought this was normal for most women who were raising families, working in or outside the home, and juggling everyday life. Stress was simply part of being a busy adult.

During my years in dentistry, though, I saw physical signs of stress all the time. I saw patients who bruxed, meaning they clenched or ground their teeth. Some fidgeted or repeatedly clenched and unclenched their hands. Occasionally, someone was so exhausted that they would fall asleep in my dental chair. People were carrying the burdens of life within their bodies.

“I’m Stressed” Can Mean More Than an Emotion

Eventually, I started noticing how I was carrying stress too. I would have digestive issues when I was upset. My shoulders and neck felt extremely tight, especially on my left side. I purchased dental loupes to help improve my working posture and keep myself from slumping forward. I went to my massage therapist monthly and, looking back, I probably could have benefited from going more often. Sometimes I would suddenly realize my shoulders were practically touching my ears.After a stressful day, I also wanted to soothe myself with simple carbohydrates. Apparently, sometimes my preferred method of relaxation involved finding something in the kitchen.

As I began experiencing some health concerns, I started researching stress and body pain. I was surprised to learn how many physical responses can accompany ongoing stress. stress may contribute to or worsen problems such as muscle tension, headaches, digestive problems, and sleep difficulties.

Looking back, I think my body was noticing my lack of self-care before my brain did.

What Actually Happens in the Body When We’re Stressed?

Here comes a little anatomy and physiology, but I promise we aren’t having a test afterward.

Our nervous system has two major parts. The central nervous system, or CNS, includes the brain and spinal cord. Think of it as the main control center. The peripheral nervous system includes the nerves outside the brain and spinal cord that communicate with the rest of the body.

Part of the peripheral nervous system is the autonomic nervous system, or ANS. It helps regulate many of the things our bodies do automatically, including heart rate, digestion, breathing, and body temperature.

I like to think of autonomic as the body’s auto-steer system.

Within the autonomic nervous system are the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. The sympathetic nervous system is associated with our familiar “fight or flight” response. The parasympathetic nervous system is associated more with “rest and digest.”

Or, in less scientific Quiet Prairie terminology: chill out.

Our fight-or-flight response isn’t bad. It helped our ancestors react to lions, mammoths, other humans, and whatever else was waiting outside the cave that day. We still need this response. Occasional stress is a normal part of the way our bodies respond to challenges.

When we're under stress, our heart rate and breathing can increase, blood pressure rises, and muscles tense as the body prepares to respond.

The problem isn't that we have a stress response.

The problem can be how often we're asking our bodies to stay on alert.

Where Do Stress and Body Pain Show Up?

Common areas where I'm noticing people carry tension are the upper back, neck, and shoulders. Jaw clenching is common, too. Sometimes clenching your jaw may seem like a better option than swinging your fists or spewing words you'll regret!

Our modern lifestyles can add another layer.

People with desk jobs may spend hours sitting, typing, looking at screens, and leaning forward. We were made to move, but sitting is simply part of modern life for many of us.

When we stay in one position for long periods, muscles around the neck, shoulders, back, hips, and forearms may become tired, stiff, or uncomfortable.

The upper trapezius and levator around the neck and shoulders can work especially hard when we're hunched over a computer. The small muscles at the base of the skull can become tense when our heads gradually creep forward toward our screens. The muscles across the chest may become tight as the shoulders spend hours rounded forward.

Our hips and lower body aren't getting much opportunity to move when we sit for long periods either. And then there are our poor hands and forearms, typing and clicking away all day.

Add everyday stress to repetitive movements and prolonged positions, and it isn't surprising that many of us feel tight and achy.

It's also important to remember that not every tight muscle is caused by emotional stress. Posture, repetitive activity, physical workload, exercise, injury, sleep, health conditions, and many other factors can contribute to discomfort.

The human body is rarely interested in giving us one tidy answer.

Stress Isn’t Always Something Bad Happening

Stress isn't always caused by the dumpster-fire episodes in life.

Positive changes can be stressful too. Starting a new job, going back to school, planning a wedding, traveling, or experiencing a major life change can all ask our minds and bodies to adapt.

Or how about simply being very busy?

I'm guilty of that one.

Somehow, “self-care” doesn't always make it onto my long to-do list. Since going back to school, I've experienced those sore “desk muscles” from hours spent doing homework. I'm also very good at convincing myself I'm too busy to stop for exercise or stretching.

And I love massage school.

That's been an important realization for me. We can be happy about what's happening in our lives and still need rest.

Sometimes there is simply a lot going on.

The “Taking Care of Everyone Else” Effect

Writing this heading makes me think about the women I've been lucky enough to know through dentistry, work, family, and life.

So many are constantly caring for other people.

I recognize this tendency in myself. I can feel guilty sitting down when household chores are waiting for me. I see it in my mom and in other hardworking women I know.

I just keep going until I hit a wall of fatigue.

Long-term stress isn't simply an unpleasant feeling. It may contribute to or worsen digestive disorders, headaches, sleep problems, and other health concerns.  Sometimes I imagine our bodies eventually reaching a point where they simply say:

Nope.

My first semester at UCHA has taught me the importance of consistent wellness practices. In fact, I don't think I fully realized how much chronic stress I was carrying until I started studying it.

I now consider myself a recovering stress ball.

I'm working on my own wellness habits, and my classmates at UCHA have become part of my accountability.

One idea I'm trying hard to embrace is that rest is productive.

A wise priest once told me, “We are human beings, not human doings.”

I'm beginning to understand what he meant.

So Where Does Massage Fit?

I think there is something valuable about having an hour when nobody needs anything from you. When we think about stress and body pain, massage is only one piece of the wellness puzzle.

For some people, slowing down comes easily. For others, it can actually be uncomfortable at first. Your mind may wander to the grocery list, tomorrow's schedule, the laundry waiting at home, or everything you think you should be doing instead.

I understand that feeling very well.

Massage gives us an opportunity to slow down physically and mentally. Massage therapists work with muscles and other soft tissues, and research suggests massage may provide short-term benefits for some types of neck, shoulder, and back pain. Research into other potential benefits of massage is still developing, and results aren't always consistent.

Research has also looked at massage for relaxation and anxiety. Some studies have found benefits in certain groups, while others haven't, so massage shouldn't be presented as a treatment for anxiety disorders.

But there's also the experience itself.

Warmth. Comfortable positioning. Appropriate pressure. Therapeutic touch. Quiet.

And time when you aren't responsible for doing anything.

This is one reason I'm learning that massage does not have to be aggressive or painful to be worthwhile. Sometimes our goal isn't to attack every tight muscle we can find. Sometimes we're simply supporting the body while giving the person an opportunity to slow down.

Massage doesn't remove the stressful job, solve the family problem, pay the bills, or magically erase someone's worries.

And one massage isn't going to permanently undo years of postural habits.

What massage can offer is time set aside for care.

Sometimes an hour when nobody needs anything from you is valuable all by itself.

What Can We Do Between Massages?

Massage is only one piece of wellness. What we do during all those hours when we're not on a massage table matters too.

I'm learning that caring for ourselves doesn't have to be complicated.

Getting up from the desk periodically, changing positions, gentle movement and stretching, spending time outside, eating nourishing foods, getting adequate sleep, and finding ways to manage everyday stress can all be pieces of the puzzle.

Slow, deep breathing and other relaxation practices may also help encourage the body's natural relaxation response.

For me, prayer, nature, enjoyable movement, good food, rest, gratitude, and spending time with people I love are important too.

And no, you don't need a perfect morning routine, expensive supplements, and a color-coded spreadsheet documenting your inner peace.

Sometimes caring for ourselves is wonderfully ordinary.

Maybe it's taking a walk after supper. Maybe it's stretching for ten minutes. Maybe it's going to bed instead of doing one more load of laundry. Maybe it's sitting outside with a cup of coffee.

Maybe it's scheduling a massage.

The important thing is finding realistic practices that fit into your life.

Listen Before Your Body Has to Shout

One of my biggest takeaways from my first semester at UCHA is that the body deserves attention before it is screaming for attention.

For me, that means making small, preventive changes in my own life rather than waiting until I feel terrible before doing something about it.

I'm learning that small changes are more doable for me than trying to overhaul everything at once. I'm also learning that good things take time.

I've been slowly making changes to my lifestyle, and I know I may not see or feel every benefit right away.

I'm okay with that.

I'm willing to take the long road if it means building habits I can actually live with.

Maybe caring for ourselves doesn't always have to begin when something hurts badly enough that we can't ignore it anymore. Sometimes it can begin by noticing that our jaw is clenched, our shoulders are creeping toward our ears, or we're simply tired.

Our bodies are talking to us all the time.

I'm learning that part of wellness is getting better at listening.

Want to Learn More?

I'm still learning too! If you'd like to read more about stress, relaxation, and massage therapy, these are a few trustworthy resources I used while writing this article.

NCCIH: Stress explains the body's stress response, chronic stress, and relaxation techniques in everyday language.

NCCIH: Massage Therapy, What You Need to Know is a helpful overview of massage therapy, what current research does and doesn't tell us, and massage safety.

NCCIH: 6 Things to Know About Massage Therapy is a shorter resource if you'd like a quick look at what the research says.

A Little Note

I'm currently a student massage therapist, and the information I share here is for general education and wellness purposes. It is not intended to diagnose or treat a medical condition or replace advice from your healthcare provider. If you have health concerns or are unsure whether massage is appropriate for you, please talk with your healthcare provider.